Untitled, Unknown, ???

Okay, maybe this is my first time to write (read:tell) something actually I never blow it up directly. Sometime, I just use some metaphors, or analogy, or symbol when I speak about this. Because, maybe I'm very sensitive and too shy, so I might be afraid of something that will happen. However, I can't deny from it, I just want to write it down, and everything's done. Then I hope, I feel better after this.
So, what am I going to discuss? No, actually I won't discuss it because I'm the one who feel it, and I just want to write about what I feel. Ehemm....!
Someone said that it is an 'annual mourning', maybe it's often happened to that one. But I just feel it currently or maybe for a couple past few months, actually since I was graduated from my university. And it makes me suffered. But I thank Allah, it makes me closer to Him.
It is not easy way I could pass. There are more feelings I can feel in every single time: nervous, curious, anxious, worried, hopeful, and so many things I can feel. Maybe, hope you guys guess it, got it?!
Well, everybody I'm sure, they feel it too. But for me, I'm different. It's not easy for me. I just hope that this will be fine after what I've done a past few days and the next days I don't know what I should do. I hope the best will be mine, although I know I always wish for that one, the glowing star in the sky which bravely standing beautifully with its light. Huff! However, maybe I never have that one, but there are many things I can expect: maybe the butterfly which is flying around the flower, or the moon which is shining in the lovely night, or maybe the sun which hides behind the clouds. Ah, I just don't know, because this is a mystery of my destiny. I just want to believe Him. Only Him I should believe.

*Sigh! What actually I am talking about?! I don't know. :|